Like a moth to the... light bulb

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.
~ Hafiz

Every night, I turn the light on in my bedroom. And without fail, every night, a little grey moth finds its way to my window screen and settles in for the night. Sitting on our window pane against the backdrop of night's darkness, this moth curls up to the light that spreads from my room, and goes to sleep. And every night, I turn off the light to go to sleep and I wonder if she stays, the moth, asleep in the comfort of knowing the light existed once and will exist again - in some form or another.

This is how I feel sometimes. Surrounded by darkness but curled up in the light that emanates from someone in my life. And it is at times like these that I try to remember that there was once a light inside of me that shone brighter than I have ever seen. And though I sometimes feel engulfed in darkness, I know the light was there once and will be there again. So maybe this is my attempt to finally change my light bulb, and once again be illuminated by my own true self.

I wish we could all see, when darkness surrounds us, that somewhere in our world, there is a light, and curl up with that knowledge in our heart, and fall fast asleep. 

What darkness are you trying to overcome? Share with me.

2 comments:

  1. When the night settles in, so does my fear. Fear of... well, everything bad that can possibly happen. The dark thoughts take over and I begin practicing my obsessive compulsive habits to compensate - to drive the fears away. Somehow if I can touch that light switch three times, instead of two, I may ward off the evil spirits and, once again, ensure the safety of me and my loved ones for another day. It's terribly stressful and nonsensical, I know, but I do it anyway. Recently, I started a new practice, when the dark thoughts rear their ugly head. I started to instead BREATHE. In and out, in and out, slowly, and just let the universe be, and let myself be, and tell myself I control nothing, and that is ok. I tell myself that the only thing that is true and real and eternal is our souls - a bundle of energy represented: visually, a light amongst millions of lights that collectively light up and make up our universe. That is all and that is it. I hold onto these thoughts as securely as I can. This gives me comfort.

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  2. This will sound a little backwards or odd but it is the true feeling. I find myself not connecting to people as I use to at different levels. I guess the feeling of being distant is kind of a darkness. The birth of this feeling is probably a mixture of maturity and life altering experiences that have begun to change me ... I think for the good. But what is backwards is that I think I have the advise or thoughts that would help others but don't feel like sharing with anyone as freely as before. It seems more and more they just want someone to listen rather than provide solutions. This creates more of the same distant feeling within me. I am lucky enough to be extremely happy almost everyday but it took a longtime to get here with my own hurdles but I'm left here as if I have bags full of groceries and no one to cook for. I am trying to figure out a balance to keep everyone around me just as happy as I am, but I am lost or maybe I am just taking too much on..

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