If ever in doubt as to where you were meant to be, just look down at your feet.
~ Buddhist Proverb
For a few nights in a row last week, I kept having dreams of being lost. Trying to find someone or some thing or some place, but not being able to. I was given maps and directions in my dreams, but the maps made no sense and the directions were all wrong, and the place I had to reach kept getting farther and farther away from me. I would wake up breathless, frustrated, anxious, but none the wiser as to my path.
I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
Yes, I feel a little (ok, a lot) at odds about my space in life right now. I recently got married, moved to a new city, with the bare minimum of friends and family, no job, no social life, no space to call my own, no inspiration (and therefore no poetry - ack), and the list goes on.
Alright, I'm lost. Totally and utterly.
In Hindi, there is a verb "bhatakna" - in context (and it is very hard to translate the true meaning of foreign words, so bear with me), I guess it kind of means the equivalent of "to wander" or "to have missed the path" or something equivalently depressing and lost. I guess, to hinglicize it, I would say I have been "bhatak-ing" in the darkness (an apt verb usage, I'm sure).
The good thing about the dreams, and about the attention I have finally decided to pay to them, is that I realize the place I am in. And since awareness is the first step to change - I am one step closer to the light. After all, if you don't know something is off-skelter in your life, how can you work toward making it better?
So I am finally looking down at my feet. And I am trying to remember that this is exactly where I am meant to be. Now, all I have to do is start walking. No maps, no directions. I'll find the way. I know the way. My heart has a universal GPS for finding the light.
What nagging feeling have you been ignoring? Look down at your feet, and share with me.
~ Buddhist Proverb
For a few nights in a row last week, I kept having dreams of being lost. Trying to find someone or some thing or some place, but not being able to. I was given maps and directions in my dreams, but the maps made no sense and the directions were all wrong, and the place I had to reach kept getting farther and farther away from me. I would wake up breathless, frustrated, anxious, but none the wiser as to my path.
I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something.
Yes, I feel a little (ok, a lot) at odds about my space in life right now. I recently got married, moved to a new city, with the bare minimum of friends and family, no job, no social life, no space to call my own, no inspiration (and therefore no poetry - ack), and the list goes on.
Alright, I'm lost. Totally and utterly.
In Hindi, there is a verb "bhatakna" - in context (and it is very hard to translate the true meaning of foreign words, so bear with me), I guess it kind of means the equivalent of "to wander" or "to have missed the path" or something equivalently depressing and lost. I guess, to hinglicize it, I would say I have been "bhatak-ing" in the darkness (an apt verb usage, I'm sure).
The good thing about the dreams, and about the attention I have finally decided to pay to them, is that I realize the place I am in. And since awareness is the first step to change - I am one step closer to the light. After all, if you don't know something is off-skelter in your life, how can you work toward making it better?
So I am finally looking down at my feet. And I am trying to remember that this is exactly where I am meant to be. Now, all I have to do is start walking. No maps, no directions. I'll find the way. I know the way. My heart has a universal GPS for finding the light.
What nagging feeling have you been ignoring? Look down at your feet, and share with me.
Recently, I was losing motivation in my work - either it be due to the weather or lack of exercising, but I finally admitted it to myself and decided to pull back and study the big picture. And I realized what I was missing - a goal. Now that I realized this, this will help me. But it was tough admitting to myself that something was amiss in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI've recently stopped ignoring nagging feelings since they're awfully persistent. Now the trouble is friends who judge my feelings an find them lacking!!
ReplyDeleteHi Rach, thank you for the blog. tickles the tissues somewhere in my brain. I tried raising self awareness through self introspection, some reading. Unsubscribed from the religions as a result. Though I do not regret it, considering the religion I belonged to, there are things that I miss. Like waking up in the mornings to the comfort of a noble thought - prayer. Self analysis can get out of control, and combined with the search for an ultimate meaning or justification to existence, does bad things to people who have commitments to keep in life. This is my experience. In fact, when I go for a stroll and see those people who are evidently not worried about the mysteries of the self, too occupied to think, too occupied with what I considered to be trivials, I feel jealous. May be in the long run, life is easier without a conscious analysis into the self.
ReplyDelete